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Giving Up vs Giving You


When we choose to ‘give up’ something, we come from a place of lack.  Instead, try focusing on what not having that thing in your life is giving you (reference Dr Libby Wellness Cards).

Do you find the above statement empowering?  Let’s explore together how it can be!  Through this exploration you will see that I will give examples and portrayals of how particular situations can leave you feeling.  Please know that these are my experiences, yours may be slightly different, however I believe that by sharing my experience it may help you relate rather than me telling you what to do.  I’m hoping to open your mind to appreciation so that you can wonder and ponder for yourself <3 

We are often told in life that to give up on something is to quit.   The word quit means to leave permanently or to get rid of, and evokes negative feelings; usually a feeling of failure, that you are not good enough or that you will be missing out on something.  Quitting leads us down this long and bumpy road of feeling disempowered and lacking choice.   Spending too long in this space can be exhausting, and will certainly not have you looking for ways in which to move yourself forward.    It puts you into ‘reactive mode’; fight or flight response, easily triggered by events/others, seeking a quick fix and the rollercoaster of emotions of anger and frustration.  Giving up or quitting limits your thinking and also blocks your possibilities.

Last week's blog post saw me sharing a few examples in which I had let go of what was no longer giving me energy.  Most of those decisions took some time to reach because my initial thoughts were “I’m quitting, and have failed miserably at this”,  “I’m giving up on my dreams” and ”I’m letting people down”.    So how did I move myself forward?  I changed my lens to appreciation in order to make new choices.

I’d like to invite you to consider how shifting your focus from Giving Up to leaning into Giving You can guide you towards more empowered choices and decisions.  Ones that are based on your needs, and not those of others.





Giving You invites: 

A nurturing and gentle energy

Sometimes we may stay in something as a form of protection or to keep us from being disappointed.   Because we believe that if we stick with it we will receive the result that we have been chasing.  The energy created is forced and desperate. 

Giving-you opens the space to consider what life may look like if you put this “thing” to the side.   It opens an invitation to press pause and experience life (for the timeframe that suits you) without forcing. What you may find is that your mind opens up to hope and possibility so that you can see things a little clearer.

Look through a lens of appreciation and consideration

Giving-up or quitting often has us believing it has to be an all-or-nothing approach, leaving us overwhelmed or stuck from taking action.

Appreciation offers you the chance to see the good attributes, explore positive possibilities, seek to learn and understand and to get to the place where you can feel good about the decisions and choices that you make.   The positive framing will encourage you into a proactive space; where you pause to respond rather than react, you take preventive action to take care of yourself, you maintain daily practices that add to your energy.

Explore what is serving you and what is not

Sometimes the things that we hold on to for fear of giving them up are filling us with dread.  We can hold on because we believe we should or because we don't want to let others down.

Exploring actions, habits, routines and activities by asking the questions; why am I doing this, what’s the reason behind me taking this action, do I feel good when I do it, does it lighten my energy, are all good ways to begin to create awareness around what's serving and what is not.

Provides a positive-language reframe

Does “I’m getting rid” or “I’m permanently giving up on” give you a positive frame of mind and invite you to find new ways forward? It doesn’t for me. 

A positive reframe or possibility encourages us to feel good about the way forward.   It's not about labeling words and thoughts as right vs wrong or good vs bad.   It’s about inviting in your curiosity and sense of wonder so that you can make decisions that are more supportive.

A self-first approach 

Imagine a world where you look after your needs and make decisions based on what's true for you. Giving-up would have us believing that if we take care of our own needs we are selfish and giving up on supporting others.  

Giving-you invites you to think about it from this point of view; by taking care of my own needs I am able to be more mindful in my responses and have the energy to support those that I care about. 

A self-first approach invites you to tune out the noise by connecting to your needs, become aware of your thoughts, feelings and energy, embrace that you are worth taking care of and to act with self-compassion and self-kindness. 

Is it time for you to move away from Giving Up and lean into Giving You? I encourage you to embark on your journey with kindness and compassion, see it as an opportunity to create awareness and the space for reflection.

What I know for sure, through my own experiences, is that when you create the space to press-pause and surround yourself in a nurturing energy, you'll uncover your new possibilities. 




If this reflection has resonated with you or you have a different take on things, please share in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you.


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Photo in blog banner by Ben White on Unsplash

2 thoughts on “Giving Up vs Giving You”

  1. Hi Dan, absolutely loved this. Thank you so much. It is exactly what I need to be working on at this stage of my life.
    Wish I had started it sooner.
    Go well my beautiful friend.

    1. Hello my lovely friend. So happy to hear that this resonated with you. Please know that I am here cheering you on, love Dan xx

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